“It’s Too Hard!” — What to Say When Your Child Feels Stuck
At some point, every parent hears these words:
“It’s too hard!”
Our instinct is often to reply with encouragement like, “You just need to try harder.”
But what if there’s a better way to respond—one that helps build confidence, emotional resilience, and a lifelong love of learning?
Struggle Is Not a Problem—It’s Part of the Process
When children find something difficult, it’s not a sign that they’re failing. It’s a sign that they’re learning.
Moments of challenge help develop:
Persistence
Problem-solving
Emotional regulation
Self-awareness
Struggling is how children grow—not just academically, but socially and emotionally.
What Parents Can Do Instead
Here are some helpful ways to respond when your child is feeling overwhelmed:
1. Acknowledge the Struggle
“That does sound hard. I can see this is frustrating.”
Recognising how they feel helps them feel supported and heard, which makes it easier to move forward.
2. Reframe the Challenge as Growth
“You’re learning something new. That’s why it feels tricky—it means your brain is growing.”
Remind them that effort is valuable, even when the result isn’t perfect.
3. Ask What Kind of Help They Need
Instead of jumping in with solutions, ask:
“What would help you right now?”
This teaches them to reflect, identify their needs, and ask for the right kind of support.
4. Avoid Fixing It Right Away
While it’s tempting to jump in and solve the problem, it can rob them of a powerful learning opportunity.
Instead, coach them through it:
“Let’s think through it together.”
The Real Goal
Learning isn’t just about completing tasks. It’s about building the emotional and cognitive tools to face future challenges.
Let’s help our children:
Trust their ability to handle hard things,
View mistakes as learning moments,
Grow confident in their ability to overcome.